


Gasping

by starrywolf101



Series: Angsty Fun Times! [14]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Attempted Murder, Choking, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Creepy, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hanging, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Makeup, Men Crying, Murder, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Scars, Tears, Temporary Character Death, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Violence, suffocation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-14 23:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20609186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywolf101/pseuds/starrywolf101
Summary: The classic case of Virgil Angst! Yay!Also, Remus is a stinky bastardWarning *Suffocation*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I apparantly like hurting Virgil for some reason. I love him, but I love angst even more.

Virgil was feeling pretty low today. Not only has he been sleeping less lately due to constant nightmares, but his friends had pretty much ignored his wishes.

At the beginning of the day, Virgil already could tell that it was an off day for him. So, having Patton force him into some famILY bonding time wasn't really the best course of action. He had been grouchy -though it wasn't really on purpose- and gotten pretty snippy with everyone. Of course, when Virgil accidentally snapped back at Patton, Roman decided to yell back at him. The two got into the biggest argument that they've had in a long while.

When him and Roman are separated by Logan and Patton, the logical side gives him a disappointed look that makes his stomach cave in. When he finally looks at Patton, he can see the tears held back in the fatherly trait's eyes. A look of horror flashes across Virgil's face as his actions dawn on him. Without a second thought, Virgil runs off; blindly letting his feet carry him far away.

One moment he's in the living room, and the next he's all the way in the Dark Sides' part of the mindscape. Virgil collapses to the ground and sniffles, helplessly wiping tears away. 

"_ Poor Little Anxiety, _ " a voice in the darkness cooed at him. " _ All alone and afraid. _"

Virgil stiffens, instantly recognizing the voice. His hackles rise as he hisses, though he wasn't very intimidating with the small hiccups and tears.

Laughter dances through the air. "_ Aww, what's the matter, Anxiety? Cat got your tongue? _ " The Duke steps out of the shadows with an unnaturally wide grin. " _ Wait! You are the cat! _" Remus giggles as he steps closer to Virgil.

"What do you want?" Virgil growls, baring his fanged teeth in hopes of scaring off the other. It doesn't work.

"_ Don't you want to play with me? We used to play all the time! _"

Virgil's eyes shrink into cat-like slits as he jumps away from Remus's outstretched arm. In his panic to escape, Virgil attempts to sink out to his room, but Remus catches his arm and sinks with him. Once they were in Virgil's room, Remus wasted no time in tackling the anxious side to the floor. "N-no! I don't want to play!" Virgil cries out as he feels something wrap around his throat.

"_ Too bad! _ " Remus giggles happily. " _ I've always wanted to know how long it takes for someone to die from suffocation! And you're the perfect subject! _"

Horror floods Virgil's entire being as he comes to the realization that there was a rope tied around his throat. He feels the knot get pulled tightly around his neck, but then Virgil feels himself leave the ground. He thrashes about in the air as Remus ties the other end of the rope to something to keep Virgil from falling. The anxious side claws at the rope around his throat but it was no use. It's not long before black spots invade his vision and then Virgil falls limp.

It has to be minutes before Virgil comes back to life, his crushed windpipe healed due to his status as a Side, but he was still dangling up high and choking. Virgil looked down at Remus who was still grinning. Tears roll down his cheeks as he continually struggles to breathe. Once again, he dies to asphyxiation, and again he comes back to life up in the air.

After the first few times, Remus must've gotten bored because he disappears in between Virgil dying and coming back to life; he left the poor Side to continually suffocate. With all this stress and panicking, Virgil wasn't able to focus enough to get free; his only hope was that someone would find him.

-

A few hours had passed since Virgil had run off, and the other three light sides were starting to feel guilty over their actions. Patton regretted forcing Virgil to interact, Logan was disappointed that he didn't see the warning signs sooner, and Roman hated that he picked a fight with Virgil. They had sat in a rather uncomfortable silence for hours, mulling over the events that transpired in the morning.

Finally, Patton stands up, having had enough of this. He says: "I'm going to apologize to Virgil, it wasn't very fair of us to push him when he wasn't feeling very well."

Roman stands up after him, guilt prevalent in his eyes. Logan joins the two of them, agreeing that they should all apologize. So, the trio make their way to Virgil's room and stop outside the door. Patton knocks, apologizing through the door; "Virg, we're sorry for this morning. Can you come out so we can talk it through?"

Nothing. No response.

Patton and Logan exchange worried glances. Roman tries next: "Alright, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, I'm swallowing my pride just for you! I'm sorry that I picked a fight with you. You clearly weren't feeling well and instead of helping out, I fell back into old habits. I'm sorry."

Still nothing. Roman felt frustration bubble up, but he pushes it back down. It wouldn't be fair to Virgil to blow up again.

Then Logan shoves them away and pushes an ear up to the door. His eyes widen in panic as he tries to open the door: it was locked. In his attempt to get inside the room, Logan rams into the door with all his might. Not knowing what was going on, but trusting Logan, Roman kicks the door down.

In the split second it takes to spot what was wrong, Patton screams in horror. Hanging from the ceiling was a limp body: Virgil's body. All three of them were frozen from shock, then all of a sudden, Virgil jolts up and thrashes about, clawing at his throat. That jolts Roman to follow the rope; it went from Virgil, through a metal loop hanging from the ceiling, to being tied around the stairway railing. Roman runs over to the stairway and begins to untie the rope before gently lowering Virgil to the floor.

Logan hovers over Virgil's unconscious form on the floor and cuts the rope away from his neck. He tried to untie it first, but the knot was too tight. Roman stumbles over to Virgil, his face goes pale when he sees the bright red ring that dug into Virgil's throat.

"Did he try to…" Patton whimpers, unable to finish the sentence.

Logan looks Patton in the eyes; "No, there was no way that Virgil tried to kill himself. Anxiety may be irrational, but Virgil isn't. He knows he can't actually die…"

"So, what you're saying is, someone tried to kill him!?" Roman feels anger consume him. How dare someone touch him!

Suddenly, Virgil jolts awake again with a gasp, clutching his throat. And with that, Roman's anger diminishes just as fast as it had begun, now replaced with worry. Tears stream down Virgil's face as his breath hitches on a sob.

Wordlessly, Roman helps Virgil up and guides him out of the room and into the living room. The whole time, Virgil clutches onto the Prince and curls up into his side when they sit down. Patton puts on Black Cauldron, hoping that it'll help them all heal from this scaring experience. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised fluff, but I couldn't resist a teensy bit more angst before ending with fluff. I promise it's a happy ending!

It's early evening by the time Virgil finally unsticks himself from Roman. His windpipe had healed again, but the ropey scar that wrapped around his throat remained prominent. It was bright in contrast to Virgil's pale skin. Virgil caught the others glancing sadly at the red ring every now and then. "It's not gonna go away, is it?" Virgil croaks out, his voice quiet and solemn. 

Logan averts his eyes as he answers in a voice equally as quiet: "No. Our bodies only instantly heal from deadly injuries, but other than that, they behave more like a normal human."

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Patton softly asks, holding Virgil's shaky hands in his own.

Swallowing thickly, Virgil curls in on himself; "A-after the fight this morning, I ran off. I should've went straight to my room, but I was stupid-" Virgil involuntarily flinched as Patton cut him off with a hug.

"You're not stupid!" The fatherly side remind him.

Pushing Patton off of himself, Virgil continues his story: explaining his encounter with Remus and how he failed to escape. He got to the part where the rope lifted him into the air before breaking off his train of thought and slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle a hiccup. 

Sensing another fit about to start, Roman starts carding his fingers through Virgil's hair, softly shushing him. The anxious side relaxes into the soothing touch; his panic settles into an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach once more. "Can you guys… stay with me tonight?" Virgil asks. His famILY smiles and assures him that they wouldn't leave. Roman summons a bunch of pillows and blankets that Patton and Logan craft into a stable pillow fort big enough for all four of them.

They all separate to change into pajamas, or that was the plan, but Virgil was too nervous to go to his bedroom alone, so Logan volunteers to go with him. They pause outside the darker trait's room.

Despite the door being broken earlier, it had already fixed itself. The properties of Thomas's mindspace were strange, and gave off an eerily alive feel. Even though it being fixed all on its own sent a chill down Logan's spine, he knew it made sense.

With a quick breath, in and out, Virgil unlocks and opens the door. The two of them slip in; Logan standing guard while Virgil retrieves a comfy pair of violet pajamas. Currently, the room mirrored Thomas's bedroom, but with more darkness and spider webs. They weren't in the room for very long.

Once back outside the room, Logan offers to walk Virgil to the bathroom so that he could change, but Virgil refuses, claiming he was better now. Hesitantly, Logan heads off to his own room to change.

Virgil cautiously walks to the bathroom, keeping an eye out for danger. He makes it safely, clicking the door closed behind himself and locking it. Looking in the mirror, Virgil scowls at his reflection: he was a mess. He forces himself to turn his back to it as he changes. Turning back around, Virgil tries to fix himself up, even if it was just the tiniest bit. He combs his hair down with his fingers, pleased when it works with him. Then he turns his attention to his makeup. Currently, he had eyeshadow smudged down his cheeks from both crying and wiping at his eyes. Focusing, Virgil is able to summon some makeup remover and new eye shadow. He takes his time re-applying the eye shadow, making it perfect.

Checking his reflection again, he smirks at the semblance of normalcy in his appearance… but then his eyes turn back to the red scar and his smile drops.

An idea pops into his head. What if he could use his powers to hide the scar? Focusing as hard as possible, Virgil tries to wish the scar away from view. He cracks open his eyes only to be met with disappointment. The ring was still there; bright red and taunting him. With a growl of frustration, Virgil tries again, and again, and again. No matter how hard he wished or begged, the scar remained. Virgil sinks to the floor in defeat, tears threatening to once again spill from his eyes.

A knocking on the bathroom door scares Virgil out of his skin. His breath catches in his throat as his fight or flight reflexes kick in. Then he hears: "Virgil? Are you in there?"

It was Roman's voice from the other side of the door. Relief flooded Virgil's veins. He stood up and unlocked the door, letting the other into the bathroom.

"What's wrong, Sunshine?" Roman asks, cupping Virgil's cheek.

"It's ugly and I can't make it go away…" Virgil mutters.

Roman's face switches to one of confusion for a split second before doing a complete turn-around and becoming an expression of understanding. "I don't think it looks ugly," Roman whispers to the other. Virgil meets his eyes with a look of shock, so Roman continues his train of thought: "Sure, it isn't the prettiest thing, but it's a symbol of your victory. You beat the monster who did this to you!"

"But, I didn't beat him! That's the thing! I was stupid and he took advantage of that!" Virgil snaps; shouting out his self-loathing. He wasn't crying, but he felt like it. Virgil gasps as he is pulled into a hug. Roman holds onto him tightly, trying to convey all his love and support with the simple action.

"You did defeat him. By fighting against him, you showed determination, even when it all seemed hopeless. Don't let The Duke rule over your life by being ashamed of your battle wound because that would be letting him win."

Roman pulls away from the hug to look Virgil in the eyes. "How do you know all this?" Virgil asks, his voice filled with exhaustion.

With a softened expression, Roman takes a step back as he takes off his shirt, saying: "Because I have many scars of my own. Each one representing my own battles." Across the expanse of Roman's torso were many scars; all different sizes. "It's my duty to keep Thomas's creativity alive, and that job entails battles with the manifestations of his inner-doubts and worthlessness. Ugly beasts that wish to harm his mental state instead of helping it to thrive."

Virgil subconsciously reaches out to touch a rather large scar on Roman's side; it was a jagged and pale line. "I didn't cause any of these, did I?" Fear dances in Virgil's eyes as he hesitantly asks.

With a warm chuckle, Roman shakes his head. "No, you've never harmed Thomas or me. You've aimed to protect him from possible dangers whether it be social or physical." He assures the anxious side. He watched Virgil's eyes trail over each and every scar as he absentmindedly reached up to run a finger over his own. "I understand that you still want to get rid of it," Roman says, earning a nod from the other. "Well, I can help you cover it up." Roman summons a container of concealer and a brush.

A small smile makes its way onto Virgil's lips and his eyes light up. This brings a grin to Roman's own face. He starts applying the concealer around Virgil's neck. In the end, the scar wasn't one hundred percent gone, but it was barely noticeable underneath the makeup. Virgil takes a peek in the mirror once more and sighs in relief.

Quickly pulling back on his shirt, Roman leads Virgil out of the bathroom, hand in hand, as they head back towards the common room where Patton was putting in a movie and Logan sat with freshly made popcorn.

That's how they spend the rest of the night; watching Disney movies while relaxing in their pillow fort. One by one, they fall asleep. First Virgil who was curled up into Roman, then Roman as he cuddled with the darker trait, then Patton after taking plenty of pictures. Logan was the last one to go to bed; he turned off the tv and put the empty popcorn bowl in the kitchen before returning. He falls asleep not long after, a small smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this was a spur of the moment story. I'm surprised I actually completed this one since I've been writing and scrapping Sanders Sides story ideas left and right since writing 'Something New'
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading this! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the next chapter will be fluff to balance out this angst!!!


End file.
